The Tarot of the Drunk Falcon
by Sketcher1994
Summary: He took another sip of his vodka as he fell back onto his sofa. She wasn't coming, was she? He'd thought she'd enjoy his challenge. He'd asked her to come to his town for the sake of a friendly drinking competition. He'd even been boasting to everyone in the pub that he was going to bring a beautiful WILD babe with him tonight, one that'd easily drink them all under the table.


**AN: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima! ^_^**

* * *

He took another sip of his specially blended vodka, falling back on his sofa as he did so. She wasn't coming, was she? He'd thought she'd enjoy his challenge, but perhaps she would prefer drinking with someone else more? At least, someone a little closer to home. He had asked her to come all the way to his town, on the offer of free alcohol, for the sake of a friendly drinking competition. He'd been boasting to everyone in the pub the other night that he was going to bring a beautiful WILD babe with him tonight, one that he'd boasted could drink them all under the table.

He sighed, shuffling slightly to make himself more comfortable. He'd just have to drink alone tonight – he wasn't really in the mood for drinking with his guildmates, not after she'd stood him up. She'd let him down last time too, but it wasn't as if she'd said she was coming last time. 'Last time', he'd been told a group of Fairy Tail mages were going to visit his guild, and of course he'd assumed she'd be part of the group. He'd even made the mistake of deciding to take his disappointment out on Natsu...which had led to half the guild being destroyed by some fuzzy green thing.

He really should just give up on her.

He sat bolt upright as he heard a knock on his front door. Was she actually here? She came? Nah, it'll be the others wondering where he was – he was almost two hours late. His guildmates knew exactly who he'd been boasting about, and they'd be here to gloat, realising by now that she hadn't turned up. Of course, they'd be just as disappointed, but they'd have a go at him anyway for her standing him up. Again. Why did he keep thinking that she'd actually come all this way to see him? She was a Fairy Tail mage, a WILD one at that, but weren't they all supposed to be weirdly innocent? She wouldn't come all this way for a drinking contest with him, even with the offer of free beer.

He wasn't that lucky.

Another knock sounded and he yelled that he was coming, hauling himself off of the sofa to drag his body in the direction of his front door. He really shouldn't have been boasting about her. This was just getting weird by now, wasn't it? He'd been telling everyone at the pub about her for months, ever since the Grand Magic Games, but he'd finally decided to invite her over, and of course, he'd boasted, to everyone that he knew, that she was actually going to join them tonight. He needed to just accept that she didn't really enjoy his company that much – even if she had seemed to find him as fun as he found her. She really did have one seriously WILD spirit.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late – I've been wandering around trying to find the place since I got here. It would have been easier to just meet you at your guild. They seemed pretty surprised to see me _both_ times that I was there, didn't you tell them I was coming?" She smirked, one hand on her hip, the other holding the strap of her fluffy blue handbag as she stood in front of him, a wheeled suitcase at her feet.

"Y-You...You actually came...?" He stared back at her in dumb disbelief, standing in his doorway.

"A drinking contest with the offer of free booze? You really know how to get a girl to come over, but you don't seem to know what to do when they arrive!" She teased, ducking under his arm to slip into his house.

"I figured you'd stood me and the alcohol up." He returned, the surprised expression exchanged for a smirk as he turned to follow her, closing the door.

"Like I'm going to let you get away with last time – you were sober last time and I'd already started. I'd say it's about time for a rematch, and I'm going to make you pay for embarrassing me, and your little suggestion concerning my friends." She challenged, folding her arms across her chest as she turned to face him.

Oh, he was looking forward to this. He'd waited months for this rematch, and he'd known she'd want it as much as him. That had been one of the most fun nights of his life, and he still had the small blue garment as a little reminder. Her current 'top' was a tasteful strapless black 'bra-like' top with a white band, topped off with some black lace. He wasn't going to steal this one as a prize, but she clearly wasn't afraid to risk provoking him. He was an S-Class mage, and he was actually stronger when he was drunk...and she wasn't scared of him – even after what happened last time.

"Well, maybe you'll be lucky this time – I've already had a two hour head start." He smirked, putting an arm around her shoulders as she rolled her eyes at him.

"So, are we drinking here? Or am I walking back to your guild for a third time?" She asked, glancing down at her little suitcase.

"You might want to leave your clothes here, unless of course you want to find a hotel?" He grinned, watching her carefully. "The pub I was planning to take you to is only at the end of the road – you'll have passed it on your way here from the guild."

"Where'll I be sleeping then?" She smiled, the same smile she would give to any of her friends.

"Up the stairs. It's pretty big, so you can't miss it – you'll be standing in it. The bathroom is the door on the other side of the room, just in case you decide to freshen up after your journey here." He smiled back, taking his arm away to let her start her assent.

What was he doing? He was just like everyone else. He shouldn't even be disappointed. He should be happy that she considered him a friend, and if they were just friends, nothing could go wrong, and he wouldn't have to worry about Gildarts. He watched her disappear out of sight, hearing her say something as she did so. He didn't bother shouting up to find out what she'd said. She'd just have made some random comment about his bedroom, probably about the size, or maybe about the style or the colour scheme, either way, he wasn't really interested in what she had to say about his bedroom. At least, not some random meaningless couple of words. If she wanted to, they could actually discuss it later.

He sighed as he collapsed back onto the sofa. He had a hunch he'd be spending the night on it, but maybe he'd be lucky. She _had_ come here willingly, to his house. She really must be fine with being alone with him, right? There was no-one else here, just them, and they were about to get drunk. People do stupid things when they're drunk, and she had been perfectly happy to come to his house to get drunk with him – he hadn't even thought about staying at home with her. In fact, he'd invited her so that he could show her off. He was an idiot. She wasn't even his woman and he was going to show her off. Oh well, at least they'd both have fun.

He took another glug of his pint, watching her dancing on the bar with a couple of guys. They hadn't even got as far as their drinking competition and she was happily dancing away. Everyone had actually cheered as they'd come in the door and his guildmates had whisked her off to the bar to buy her drinks, along with the rest of the population of the bar. He'd barely gotten a word in, but she'd kept flashing smiles at him. He was pretty sure everyone had thought she was drunk as she danced so sexily up against random guys from the bar, then of course, the shots came out, and somehow she'd ended up on the bar with everyone cheering her on. He growled quietly again as one of the guys slapped her ass.

He stood up, offering her his hand. It was his turn for a dance whether the other inhabitants liked it or not. He'd invited her. He'd introduced her. These drunk bastards had no right to claim all her attention. She was there for him. She'd thought they were going to spend the night getting drunk together and he hadn't even gotten a single drink with her yet. She was clearly having fun though, and he was enjoying watching her have fun, he just wanted one dance. There was no harm in one dance, right?

He held her hand as she jumped down, landing as if it had been a tiny step rather than a leap. He almost wished she'd stumbled into his arms, but she'd just shown the entire pub just how sober she actually was. He smirked as he heard the gasps around them. Yeah, this was his Cana. Like hell these idiots could get her drunk. He could, and he knew he was the only guy in here that even stood a chance of drinking her under the table. He knew that's why she kept looking at him. She was waiting for him to start the competition. He was sure that that was what that smile meant.

He smirked back at her as she started to dance up against him, using him as her prop. He hissed as she rubbed up against him, grinding against him to the music. This was her sober. She was sober and he knew it. Damn she was WILD. She spun in his arms, momentarily separating their hands, placing her back against his chest as she continued to dance. He slid his hands down her arms as she raised them in the air, bringing them down the sides of her full chest, not quite touching her, not quite groping her as he silently wished to. He was going to be mature about this. He wasn't going to ruin everything now. It had taken months to get her here. He rested his hands on her stomach, enjoying the feel of her stomach muscles tensing, twisting and relaxing under his hands as she continued to dance against him.

He felt her pull away as the song ended, a playful smirk on her lips as she glanced back over her shoulder at him. He pulled her back gently, nosing her hair out the way to kiss her neck before letting her go. What had he just done? That was stupid. What if he'd freaked her out? Nope, he hadn't. She was still smirking back at him as she walked up to the bar for another drink, swinging her hips as she moved. He hadn't ruined everything. He followed her, reminding the bartender to put it on his tab. He'd told her she would have free alcohol all night, and this was the first drink he'd actually managed to buy her. He hadn't done anything to deserve that dance. Everyone else had been treating her all night.

He watched her down her drink before turning to grin at him, just as another group of guys started calling to her, offering her some more drinks. She was having fun. He'd invited her and she was enjoying her night, even if they weren't going to get their competition. Served him right for boasting about her. Everyone knew who she was and wanted to meet her. If he hadn't, then they'd have gotten their competition and everyone would have been amazed by her, just as much as they were at that very moment. Everyone loved her. She was a truly amazing WILD babe, that was for sure.

He took his usual seat by the bar once more, ordering another couple of pints for himself. He watched her talking and laughing with the regulars. She fitted in perfectly, but she'd fit in anywhere. She could talk and laugh with anyone, and being able to hold her drink was just another benefit. How had she even managed to get her tolerance so high? He was probably twice her size and her tolerance rivalled his. He smirked back at her as she shot another smile at him. He was the only one getting that smile.

"You're girlfriend seems really fun – you might want to keep an eye on her though. A couple of guys are getting a little handsy, if you know what I mean. She seems a little drunk to be able to get herself home, so I'd appreciate if you'd consider taking her soon, just to keep her safe."

Bacchus just grinned at the bartender. He really had no idea who she really was, did he? He'd told all of them about a beautiful, amazing, WILD babe he'd met in Crocus who was embarrassed by next to nothing and had an alcohol tolerance that rivalled his own. He had missed out the little bit about her being a powerful Card Mage, and the tiny, unimportant fact that she was a Fairy Tail mage too. As obvious as the emblem on her stomach was, they were apparently completely oblivious to it. If they wanted to mess with her, it was their funeral.

He downed the dregs of last pint that had been laid in front of him, telling the bartender to keep his tab open, promising to pay it the next night as long as he made sure that the babe he'd come in with didn't pay for any drinks herself. The bartender nodded in confused understanding, glancing over at the supposedly inebriated woman. Bacchus smirked at the curious expression that had settled on the bartender's face before smiling across at Cana, now sitting on a table with her cards out, likely about to give fortunes to anyone who wanted one, on the promise of another drink. He'd kept his promise of a night filled with free alcohol, but she'd just have to come back for another visit so that they could have their competition.

Bacchus grabbed his gourd as he collapsed onto his sofa, a sigh escaping him as a smirk graced his lips. He closed his eyes as he look a swig of vodka, remembering her talking and laughing with his friends. He watched her dancing with them, followed by the sound of her laughter as she downed a row of shots, watching a couple of the guys around her collapse, completely drunk, at her feet. He'd silently laughed at the fools, knowing they'd regret not listening to his warning that they didn't stand a chance against her. Only he stood a chance against her.

He felt her collapse onto his knee, only for another guy to pull her back up again before she could say anything to him. He watched her dancing with the guy, smirking as the idiot started to get ahead of himself, watching Cana dance away from the fool, only to be helped onto the bar by two guys planning to take a turn dancing with her. He remembered his own growl as the taller one had slapped her ass, and laughed. She wasn't even his babe, and he should probably have corrected the bartender now that he thought about it. He'd still rescued her though, although, that had turned into more of a treat for him. Hell, he'd even managed to kiss her neck, the memory of the scent of her beautiful dark hair haunting him as he sat there, running the night through his mind, replaying every moment behind his closed eyelids.

He heard his front door click and knew she was back. How long had he just been sitting there? He glanced at the clock, quickly realising he'd been there almost an hour, just remembering her as he'd apparently emptied his gourd. He got up to refill it, a happy tipsy feeling washing over him as he stood up. That's what he gets for emptying the whole thing in an hour – it was a particularly strong blend of his favourite vodkas, a blend that he'd perfected while half of her guild had been missing, herself included. Maybe she'd be able to improve it? He'd made it perfect, but maybe that was just his opinion? Maybe she'd have an idea that would make it more perfect? Yip, he was definitely tipsy – he was questioning his own opinion on alcohol.

"Oi, what you doing back so early, Nee-chan?! I thought you were going to stay out all night~!?" He called, releasing the barrel's tap to start filling his gourd.

"Well, you'd left without me and I could have sworn I was your guest – that was a little rude, wasn't it?" She returned, and Bacchus could see the playful smirk on her lips as he stood with his back to her. He was even sure she'd be standing with one hand on her hip.

"You were having some WILD fun, and the bartender asked me to take you home, so I left before he could demand that I did." He replied, turning to face her as he leaned back on the sideboard that held his barrels.

"Well, I would have come back with you anyway, but a couple of guys were determined I should stay with them – they seemed a _little_ surprised that I was a mage." She explained, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"If they didn't recognise the _very_ obvious Fairy Tail emblem on your stomach, they must be complete idiots." He replied, swaggering over to her to wrap an arm around her shoulders. "The bartender warned me they might give you trouble, but I figured a WILD babe like you could handle those idiots."

"Rocker and Nobarly walked me back, saying yours was on their way back to the guild's dorms anyway." She sighed, allowing him to lead her over to the sofa where she collapsed, completely unladylike, much to his amusement. "They didn't want me getting lost _again_."

"Three times in one day would be a little embarrassing, wouldn't it?" He grinned, falling down beside her, narrowly avoiding her kick directed at his shin. "Here, try this."

He watched as she took his gourd, waiting for her to take a sip. No-one had been brave enough before, so this should be interesting. Of course, the reason for no-one accepting his offer was because they knew how high his tolerance was and had seen the effect it had on _him_. He was pretty sure everyone he knew thought they'd die if they took a sip, or at least not be able to _see_ after. She wasn't even hesitating, hell, she hadn't even wiped the top as she went to take a swig.

She was even more WILD than he'd thought.

Everyone expected to go blind at a sip, but here she was, taking a _swig_ of the special vodka blend from his gourd. She didn't even pull a face as she swirled the clear liquid around her mouth. She was actually _tasting_ it, not just downing it. He stared at her, nervously awaiting her verdict.

"It's a nice blend – good strength, smooth – but it needs something. It's actually pretty perfect, but it just needs something to add a little flavour." She nodded thoughtfully, taking another swig before handing him his gourd back.

"Any idea what it's missing?! I've been perfecting this for years, and I'd been wondering if you could think of anything to improve it!?" He asked, excited at the idea of her not only taking a swig, but taking a _second,_ _and_ having an idea on how to improve it.

"You use it when you're fighting, right?" He nodded eagerly, leaning closer to her. "Then you wouldn't want anything sweet...you'd need something with a bit of a kick...although, the sugar from something sweet would give you a quick energy boost...but it's more for making your movements unpredictable, rather than for more energy...so, yeah, something with a bit of a kick? I'd recommend sour or spicy. It'll add a little flavour, but it'll also fight off the drowsiness without affecting your blend's effectiveness." She finished, thumping the bottom of her fist into the palm of her other hand.

"Sour or spicy? Want to experiment? I've got lemons, limes, and a couple of different chillies and powders in the kitchen?" He grinned, grabbing her arm to pull them both up.

"Sure." She laughed, and he didn't even care if it was directed _at_ him.

He laid his head back against the top of the sofa, feeling the alcohol coursing through his body. They'd been experimenting for almost two hours and had finally decided on chilli with a twist of lime. He just had to work out how to scale it up to match the volume of his barrels. He glanced across at the very drunk Cana next to him. He'd certainly had fun, and he was pretty sure she had too. He smirked as she rolled into the side of him, still laughing away at whatever he had just said. He couldn't even remember what he was saying now, he must be just as drunk as her. He wrapped an arm around her and drunkenly kissed the top of her head, earning a giggle from her.

"I th-thinkth it'sh tihme forh beds." He slurred, surprising himself – he needed to sound more sober if he was going to pull this off.

"Um-mh," she muttered into his chest, curling into him more, looking unbelievably cute as she did so.

He was in trouble.

"Go on." He managed to grunt out, trying to sober himself up in case he had to carry her.

"I'm comfy." She moaned, drawing her legs up onto the sofa.

"Needs- Need me to cars- carry you?" He asked, trying to tease her.

"Fine, I'll go upstairs..." she sighed, clearly pouting in her drunken state, much to his amusement.

He turned his head sharply to look at her, his eyes narrowing. She hadn't slurred her words. Had she, and he just hadn't noticed because he was drunk as well? What if she wasn't drunk? What if she was just tipsy? What if she was just tipsy and he was sending her to bed? He'd sound like a boring old guy! She had to be drunk, right? He had the higher tolerance, so she should be more drunk than him, right? Shit. He'd been matching her drink for drink at the pub and then he'd emptied his almost full gourd in the hour it had taken her to get back here. Once she'd gotten back, she'd been matching him shot for shot...but she'd potentially had an hour with no drinking...and she'd been using her magic...she'd had a chance to start sobering up. He'd even managed to drink more than her.

He was more drunk than her.

"Shit..."

"What? You ok?" He could hear the worry in her voice, and he knew she was about to catch him – he seriously doubted she'd take into account that hour apart.

"Fine, I just realised that you have to go home tomorrow." He lied, tightening his hold on her slightly. "I had fun tonight."

"Hm, so did I." She yawned, cuddling back into him again, causing him to feel both smug and relieved.

"So, how about you tell me my future?" He asked, watching her carefully, glad his surprise had sobered him enough to at least think straight.

"What do you want to know?" She smiled softly up at him, turning onto her back as she lay along the length of the sofa, her head still resting on his chest.

"If we can have another night like this...and if we'll ever have that rematch. I was really disappointed when you didn't come on the exchange student thing." He sighed, looking down at her with a sleepy smirk.

"I can tell you the answer to those without my cards." She smirked back, taking his hand that lay on her stomach into both of hers, starting to play with his hand. "I could also read your palm too if you want." She continued, studying his hand. "And I hadn't realised you'd expected me to come on it. You could have just come to our guild on it, or just come to have a drink. I'm sure everyone would have enjoyed that, you coming over I mean, it's not as if they'd challenge you to a drinking contest. I barely get any challenges now..."

"How often do you get them? I stopped getting them years ago – it's still fun drinking with the others, don't get me wrong, but if I match them drink for drink I'm still sober at the end of the night. We still have a WILD time, but I start to feel a little left behind when everyone else is falling around. You have no idea how much I end up downing from my gourd to catch up with them when they're not looking." He laughed quietly, watching her concentration focussed solely on his hand – she probably hadn't even been aware of his voice, never mind what he said.

"Hm, I know what you mean. I just drink by the barrel now – no-one expects me to match them drink for drink. They just expect me to drink at my own pace, so I do. I still enjoy the company though, and the gossip is always fun – I'm the bookie." She smirked up at him, a dark glint in her brown eyes.

"Good to know." He replied teasingly, his free hand coming down from the arm of the sofa to slide caressingly over the soft pale skin of her shoulder.

"You're sobering up again – how much did you drink before I got here?" She smiled, her attention moving back to his hand currently held in hers.

"After you got here in the first place, or before you got back from the pub?" He replied smugly, his free hand moving to her chin to make her look back at him, the alcohol-warmed cheeks catching his eye as he did so.

"How about both?" She replied, raising his hand to continue studying it, apparently ignoring the fact that his elbow now rested on her breast.

"A gourd and a bit before you got here. That was over about three hours – I figured I'd give you a bit of a head start." He smirked, starting to laugh as her elbow suddenly made contact with his thigh. "Then I finished my gourd in the hour after I got back."

"And that blend of yours is pretty strong, so I guess I can't really count this as my victory, huh?" She replied, turning onto her stomach, half on him, half on the sofa.

"I could keep going – I'm starting to feel pretty sober, so we can go back to having a WILD night if you want!?" He grinned wildly down at her, one hand cupping her cheek while the other remained in hers, his arm partially trapped under her as his wrist reappeared between her breasts. Did she have any idea how suggestive she was being?

"I should probably go to bed." She sighed, a soft smile gracing her lips.

"Want me to join you, Nee-chan?!" He replied enthusiastically, already knowing the answer.

"Uh-huh, maybe some other time, Babe." She answered, rolling her beautiful dark brown eyes at him. He knew that had been coming, but he had an image to keep.

"So the answers to my questions before were both yes?" He grinned, watching her stand up, stretching herself, her muscles flexing as she did.

"Yup, and now I can tell you you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight – but if you play your cards right, maybe sometime I'll let you stay in your own bed." She replied, walking out of the living room to make her way to his bed alone.

He grinned to himself as he turned back around to settle himself on the sofa once more. He stopped as he spotted the cards lying on the coffee table, five cards laid out in a line in front of him. When had she laid them there? He hadn't seen her do it, and she'd followed him back from the kitchen...she couldn't have, right? But they were there. She'd actually laid the cards out for him. Did she know what they said? She had said that she'd let him stay in his own bed if he played his cards right...what if they told him when she would? Would she know that?

Who was he kidding? She probably didn't even know that herself, so how could she have laid out the cards to tell him? Maybe she'd asked the question for him and laid the cards out? What if she'd left to go to bed so that she didn't find out the answer? Knowing the future could always lead to the future changing? If she knew, maybe it wouldn't happen naturally, or maybe not even at all. Maybe that's what the cards said. Maybe the cards said they'd never be together. Why did he care what the cards said? He could change whatever they said! They didn't matter...but they did...they were _her_ cards...

He reached for the first card, glancing over his shoulder to see if she was watching. He ran his fingertips over the back of the first, his eyes moving from the empty doorway to look along the row of cards. He reached for the corner of the first, ready to turn it over. He'd look at them, even if he didn't understand them; she had gone through the effort of laying them out for him. He started to chew his lip slightly, wondering what the card would tell him. They probably wouldn't even make sense to him. He'd probably have to ask her to explain them, but then wouldn't that defeat the purpose of her leaving the room? He carefully lifted the corner of the card.

He pulled back. He didn't want to know. He looked along the row of cards, the first now slightly out of line with the others. He didn't want to know when she'd finally let him join her. They'd both had a great night, hadn't they? Maybe next time they could go out for a meal? Maybe he should surprise her by visiting her next time? They'd met in Crocus several times while they'd both been there, and now she'd come to his town to meet his friends, to stay at his place. Even if he was on the sofa for the night, it was bound to mean something, right? Things were fine the way they were, they were having fun – and he seriously doubted she was going to just disappear again. They had all the time in the world, and it was going to be WILD.

He sat back on his sofa, plumping a cushion to use as a pillow before swinging his legs up to sleep. He sighed, glancing back at the row of cards on the table before closing his eyes. He opened his eyes again, looking at the four cards on the table. The fifth card was missing. He leant forward cautiously, glancing over the side of the sofa. It was face up. He stared at the card, a smirk growing on his lips. The card certainly suggested a good idea. He picked up the card, studying it as he took another sip from his gourd. Of course he'd get a card with alcohol, and to make things better, it was even suggesting large quantities. There were ten gold cups across the arch of a rainbow, a man and woman standing under it. Maybe he should call her back down to share the ten cups?

He stopped mid-swig, his eyes falling on the two kids in the card.

Well, he'd be damned – things were _definitely_ going to get WILD.

He was one lucky bastard.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this! A little random, but there you go :) Feel free to look up the Ten of Cups – it actually means different things depending on the context ^_^**


End file.
